Self-awareness and confidence in a confusing world…
In today’s world, many of us carry a sense of inauthenticity, we lack truth and we struggle to simply be ourselves. This lack of truth causes us many personal problems as well as issues on the grander scale. But why? Why do we feel the need to lie? Why do we pretend to be people that we aren’t? Perhaps it is the pressure, to be cool, to be liked, to conform. While that certainly plays a part, I believe the main reason for our inauthentic being is something else entirely. We can link this inauthenticity in us today to a lack of self-awareness
Now, you wouldn’t immediately make that connection but if you look deeper into it, it makes complete sense. Most of us right now lack self-awareness, we have little or no awareness of what’s going on, on the inside, what we’re thinking and feeling and what that means, what that can tell us about ourselves and how it can guide us. We are unaware of who we really are, therefore we cannot know how great we are, how awesome we are, how fantastic we can be. We are not aware of our own greatness, of our strengths, our beauty and wisdom, all our best bits are unknown to us, buried behind a mountain of confusing thoughts. So, the way we see ourselves becomes untrue and often negative, we fail to feel our greatness, to see how incredible we are, we feel we have nothing to give and nothing that we are good at, nothing that we are passionate about, nothing to contribute to life. We feel we have no purpose, no passion, we feel we are not likeable and are uninteresting. We feel all of these things because we do not truly know ourselves, we have lost touch with who we are. After all, how can I know my greatness if I do not know myself?
All of this adds up to a lot of personal insecurities and a lack of self-confidence or confidence in the self, should I say. We can appear confident while having a lack of confidence in the self and it is this lack of confidence in who we are, that influences us to lie to our friends, parents, relatives, colleagues and partners. We attempt to better ourselves with falsehoods because we feel we are not good enough, fun enough, tough enough, smart enough as we are. We attempt to fill ourselves with untrue traits and tales because we feel we are empty. We see nothing worthy within us, blind to our own beauty.
The reality is that we are all more than good enough. You are tough enough, you are strong enough, you are kind enough, you are smart enough, you are fun enough, you are interesting, you are beautiful, you are loved. If you don’t see that yet, you will. Though this isn’t the only problem with our lack of self-awareness.
Our blindness is causing a generation of lost souls. So many young people not knowing where to go in life, not knowing what we want, who we want to be, not knowing what we can give. We are unaware of our own passions, what we really care about, what fuels our happiness. We find ourselves lost and confused in a big scary world, not knowing which path to take. ‘But we must have something we want to do?’ the world asks us, we have to. So we make one up, without realising what we’re doing, we construct a false passion or goal in our heads, something we like but not something we love. Often this can be something that the external world tells us we should do in one way or another, whether it’s teachers, movies or well-meaning parents. But is that thing you have decided you want to do, that one thing?
A lack of self-awareness means we didn’t know our passions but we are told from a young age that we have to have one and we need it now, not later. So we let the outside world fill that hole in our minds, under pressure we force the best thing we can think of into that slot in our brain called ‘the thing I want to do for my whole life’. That thought then resides in us for so long that we can often completely convince ourselves of its authenticity. We do this while thinking it was our choice all along, that this thing, this is the one. The keyword being thinking, we think it’s right but how does it feel? How do you feel when you think about doing that thing, how do you feel while living it? Is it really something you love?
Something that gives you goosebumps when you think of it, something that gets you excited and enthused, passionate and driven. Does that thing get you out of bed in the morning with a smile on your face? Because there is something that will do that for each and every one of us but before we look for it in the world, we must look within to identify it.
The solution to this problem, like so many others in the world can be found through proper meditation and mindfulness practice. With each of these practices done regularly, the mind begins to unwind and clear. And slowly over time, a clear mind is able to hear that inner voice and feel those subtle feelings in our being. A feeling that is our desires, our wants, dreams and goals in their true form. Without a ton of external noise rattling around in our heads, we are able to tune in to these things, to listen, to feel and to trust. To trust in ourselves and know what we want and who we are.
We are able to release untrue thoughts and perceptions of ourselves, created in doubt and fear and replace them with an awareness and recognition of our own greatness. With our mind clear we are able to see our own beauty, physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. We will then be able to truly love and appreciate ourselves and then others.
My self-awareness dramatically improved with consistent meditation and I love the effect it has had for me. I have come to truly accept myself. I am comfortable in my own skin and really do love who I am, I love being me. I have let go of insecurities and falsehoods and feel free within myself. I have allowed my false ambitions to fall away and revealed my true passions in life. I have a clear path and know what I want to do with my life and that feels great. A few years ago I wouldn’t have been able to say any of this but self-awareness through mindfulness and meditation has truly changed things for me. I am happy today, being me and knowing who ‘me’ is.
If you want to read more about self-confidence and being who you are, check out our post on the importance of truth. For advice on meditation and mindfulness check out our respective pages on how to meditate and how to be mindful. Finally, The Little Book of Confidence is a really handy tool in developing self-confidence and is available to buy through the Amazon link.
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